Words in red are mine.
Have you ever noticed that fitness trends geared toward women tend to be a bit sexualized? You don't say!
While we support a woman’s choice Did we appropriate the Planned Parenthood slogan? to get fit any way she chooses, we’d love it if the following sexualized workouts and fitness trends disappeared, like, yesterday. Like, you just gave away your inexperience in life, my dear.
1. Mermaid tail workout
Yes, you read that right. Well I do have my bifocals on. Cliché alert. The Hotel del Coronado in San Diego hosts a weekly class called Mermaid Fitness. The class is a “high-intensity, full-body workout” that’s basically “circuit training mixed with an ab workout on the side of the pool,” Well and Good reports.
“You’ll swim laps to get your heart rate up, and I also included standing stationary movements, like squats and arm exercises with a beach ball,” Veronica Rohan, a fitness instructor at the hotel, adds.
Sure, there’s nothing wrong with donning a tail and getting sweaty, There's plenty of weirdness about donning a tail and getting sweaty! Plus, neither the fitness instructor nor the publication you quoted said anything about a tail. but last time we checked, mermaids were considered highly sexual, human-luring creatures. Did you check with Disney, though? So, it’s a bit odd that this sexual fetish is now considered a great way to burn calories. We’ll just stick to swimming laps in the pool in our swimsuits. If you like that kind of boredom, sure.
We should note that the class is open to men, too, which does relieve us slightly. Well I'm glad one of us is relieved. That actually makes me wonder why men would want to don a tail. Still, though…
2. Pole dancing
This exercise trend isn’t new, but it is still really annoying. We’re all about learning how to feel sexy, but there’s just something about these classes that creeps us out. First, is pole dancing that good of a workout? A question asked by someone who has obviously never tried it. Couldn’t you get similar results by going to a pilates or yoga class? I've done all three kinds of classes, and in a word, NO. Second, strippers are highly sexualized in a negative way Is being highly sexualized ever done in a positive way? in the United States. So, until they are respected by the masses, Bwahaha! Are you holding your breath for this to happen? Not if you perpetuate the ignorance with an article like this. perhaps we shouldn’t name a class after what they do to make a living. And third—and this should go without saying—if you’re doing this workout because you want your partner to think you’re sexy, think twice. Because the person you’re sleeping with should appreciate your body and moves for what they are—not because you’re taking a strip aerobic class. Uh, so nobody should take a class to look and feel better, and maybe even feel more confident in bed? We should just be grateful for the status quo the way the orphans in Oliver Twist weren't supposed to ask for more gruel?
3. Super-hot workout selfies
The Greatist recently published a great piece about how fitness “gurus” and models from all walks of life are embracing the following motto in the name of losing weight or firming up: “If you do it, you’ll look great naked.” Sure, everyone wants to look good when they’re in their birthday suits, but isn’t fitness really about health? Does it have to be one or the either?
“#Fitspiration has turned into full-blown, soft-core porn workout videos of girl after girl deadlifting in bootie shorts,” Greatist reports. “These videos clearly inspire more calories burned from fast wrists moving than any other part of the body. Hahahaha! Best line in the article, but you didn't write it. You can’t actually work out to them, as they quickly cut from one shot of a girl doing a handstand in a thong to another girl bouncing up and down doing jumping jacks in a bikini.”
And now the cop-out — err, disclaimer: Now, even though we are a bit weirded out about these exercise and fitness-inspired trends doesn’t mean you should be. Because if you feel comfortable doing these types of workouts and they make you feel good about your body, then go ahead and do the workouts! Just make sure the organization or class you’re taking is all inclusive and supports bodies and people from all walks of life. I should worry about that? I can't just go and work out? Should I pause at the door and gauge if the class supports bodies and people from all walks of life, then turn around and leave if the ratio of fit to fat bodies is off?
