When being nice isn't always wise

Is niceness overrated? Could I have been shielding myself with it? Am I grounded enough in wisdom now to know when to step out from behind it and return fire? If I don't return an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth in certain situations—strictly as a mirror, you understand, without the baggage of vengeance—have I wasted the teachable moment? Have I allowed nastiness to spread?

Let's say I've been chosen as the target and my warrior heart took that bullet and vaporized it: If I watch the bully walk away to find another, weaker target, have I neglected my duty to humanity? By duty I don't mean stepping in front of the next target and taking that bullet again. I mean taking Godzilla down. Before it goes on its rampage.

Is this the new lesson I'm supposed to be learning? First I learned to see what the world looks like when it's loved. Then I learned to spot where love is missing. Satya—Sanskrit for truth; to see things as they are. Now I think I'm being called to act when necessary. And my need to be nice, to be loved, needs to be sacrificed. Alrighty then. Oh, by the way—only nice people can comment. haha!

When commitment leads to mistreatment

It is the irony of (many) human relationships that the more they think they have you the less they treat you like the gem you've been to them.

The conquest is done, they have you in their pocket; on to the next chase.

The younger mistress, the new star employee, the client they're trying to land, the novelty of an untested partnership. Quite a catch. Dazzling new possibilities. More money. That air of unavailability. And the newbie won't know all their faults (yet)! They guzzle the hero worship like cold beer on a sweltering afternoon.

This is how the older brother of the Prodigal Son felt. What, no fatted calf for me, after I have served you all these years?

They've asked for your total loyalty but still lust for the next bright shiny object of their ambition. As a former 40-something bachelor acquaintance once put it, "There might be someone better out there."

Undoubtedly, there is someone better out there. Better than they are. Someone who practices gratitude, who expresses appreciation, who gives you the benefit of the doubt and never takes your commitment for granted.

Sometimes we are the neglected, the overlooked, the underappreciated locked into what started as a bond but feels like bondage.

Sometimes we are the ungrateful wretches and don't know or don't care that we are. And we are in a prison of a different sort.